“Knight in shattered armor”

I love words and how they have this incredible power to sway emotions. How they paint pictures. Plant ideas. I heard, well, technically I read, this phrase this morning, “A knight in shattered armor.”

We’ve all heard of our “knights in shining armor” brave and unblemished. Strong and perfect. Untested.

When a knight goes into battle, he’s going to get his armor scratched up, dented, possibly shattered.

I don’t want a knight who only puts on this perfect front, who has never stepped out and tried to live life. No one gets through life unscathed, we all get scratched up quite a bit in the process of learning. I’m certainly not shining and unblemished. I’ve had my share of crash and burns, of being pierced by hurt and loss, of being shattered to the point of almost no return. I have gone into battle and lost quite a number of times. I would never expect my knight to win every time.

Shattered doesn’t mean defeated. Daily battles may be lost, things don’t go right, feelings and dreams get crushed, life stacks up against you. But it doesn’t spell out defeat. Underneath the shattered armor is a strong heart. This knight is not giving up, his spirit is not shattered.

I’m put in mind of a clip from Prince Caspian, where Peter is fighting the king. They are both fighting fiercely, not letting the other get the upper hand, going strong, giving no sign of weakening. But when a halt is called to the match, they both turn away from the fight, and pain and weakness are expressed. But they both return to the battle, just as determined to win as when they began.

The victor doesn’t brazenly charge in, brandish his sword, and win by show. It’s hard work, it’s pain, it’s blood. They come out bruised and broken, whether victorious or not. And so do we. A good day or a bad day, it’s never an easy day. If life is easy, something is wrong, something is missing. We are not called to a life of ease, never fighting, never learning, never living.

I want to look at my life and know that I have lived. I want to see the dents and scratches of my life and be reminded of what I’ve learned. I can’t pretend to be perfect, and I don’t want a knight who is. Perfect and shining is not perfect for me. His shattered-ness is proof of a man who is living and taking advantage of the heart and life that God has given him. Even through mistakes, big and little, known and unknown. I want a knight with a strong spirit. A knight who isn’t afraid of the scratches in his life. A knight with a full life. I want a knight in shattered armor.